Tabstun's stuff

A Public Service Message For Women To Better Understand
The Male

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very
well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if
I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up,
one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to
fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will
then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in
bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as
I do, so for you, this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase
basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I
cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or
"tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And
never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up
anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a
euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite
evidence that this will just cost me twice as much,
once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If it has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.
(Though one time I was able to survive, by holding a
calculator.)

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked
the movie. If you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year
2003, I will share equally in the housework. You just
do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the
cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do
the rest.