Friday, November 19, 2004
KIDS ON MARRIAGE (Answers by kids age 8-10)
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
* Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
* Curt, age 9
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
* Craig, age 9
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
* Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
* Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
* Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
* Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
* Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
* Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
* Martin, age 10
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
* Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
* Curt, age 9
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
* Howard, age 8
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
* Craig, age 9
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Two guys are fishing in a rowboat while a bit further a young man is learning how to windsurf. He gets on the board, falls off, gets back on again etc. Suddenly he totters off once more, hits his head on the board and doesn't come up again.
The two guys row to the rescue, pull him aboard and one of them starts resuscitating mouth-to mouth.
At once the guy doing the lifesaving pulls a face and says 'Wow, this is a gruesome case of halitosis!'
'Small wonder', his companion replies, 'he's wearing ice skates.'
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The two guys row to the rescue, pull him aboard and one of them starts resuscitating mouth-to mouth.
At once the guy doing the lifesaving pulls a face and says 'Wow, this is a gruesome case of halitosis!'
'Small wonder', his companion replies, 'he's wearing ice skates.'
Monday, November 01, 2004
Adelanto de la Real Academia Española
AMOR: Enfermedad temporal que se cura con el matrimonio....... Palabra de cuatro letras, dos consonantes, dos vocales y dos idiotas.......
ARQUITECTO: Dicese de un tipo que no fue lo suficientemente macho para ser ingeniero; ni lo suficientemente maricon para ser decorador.
BAILAR: Es la frustracion vertical de un deseo horizontal.
CEREBRO: Organo que sirve para que pensemos que pensamos.
BOY SCOUT: Un niño vestido de estúpido comandado por un verdadero estúpido vestido de niño.
DOLOR DE CABEZA: Anticonceptivo mas usado por la mujer de estos tiempos.
EXAMEN ORAL: Prueba para conseguir una beca en la Casa Blanca.
BUSTO: Estatua de un hombre sin manos, o parte de las mujeres donde estan las manos del hombre.
CANDIDATO: Persona que obtiene dinero de los ricos y votos de los pobres para protegerlos a unos de los otros.
LENGUA: Organo sexual que algunos degenerados usan para hablar.
UROLOGO: Especialista que te mira el pene con desprecio, te lo agarra con asco y te cobra como si te lo hubiera chupado.
CONFIANZA: Via libre que se le da a una persona para que cometa una serie de abusos.
CURA: Persona a la que todo el mundo lo llama Padre, con excepcion de sus hijos, que lo llaman tio.
DIPLOMACIA: Arte de decir "lindo perrito", hasta encontrar una piedra para tirarsela.
FACIL: Dicese de la mujer que tiene la moral sexual de un hombre.
GINECOLOGO: Especialista que trabaja en el lugar donde otros se divierten.
HEROE: Individuo que, a diferencia del resto, no pudo salir corriendo.
HOMBRE: Ser masculino que durante sus primeros nueve meses de vida quiere salir de un lugar al que intenta entrar el resto de su vida.
INDIFERENCIA: Actitud que adopta una mujer hacia un hombre que no le interesa, que es interpretada por el hombre como "se esta haciendo la dificil".
INTELECTUAL: Individuo capaz de pensar por mas de dos horas en algo que no sea sexo.
MODESTIA: Reconocer que uno es perfecto, pero sin decirselo a nadie.
NINFOMANA: Término con el cual un hombre define a una mujer que desea tener sexo mas a menudo que el.
OMBLIGO: Especie de timbre que exhiben las mujeres, generalmente en verano y primavera, pero que si lo tocas te atiende el novio.
SUPERMODELOS: Evidencia de que todos los demás estamos mal hechos.
TRABAJO EN EQUIPO: Posibilidad de echarle la culpa a otros.
